The Hubris Incident
by Zenparadox
Summary: Post Arizona's devastating wish, things are back to normal, until... the collective egos of the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial attract a Hubris demon, which feeds on ego, Callie and Arizona must figure out who's been possessed by Hubris and who is just normal levels of full of themselves. A Sequel to A Demon, a Goddess, and a Muse. Knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer helpful.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: Post Arizona's devastating wish, things are back to normal, until... the collective egos of the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial attract a Hubris demon, which feeds on ego, Callie and Arizona must figure out who's been possessed by Hubris and who is just normal levels of full of themselves. A Sequel to A Demon, a Goddess, and a Muse: Arizona's Absurdly Disturbing Alternative.

**Note**: This is just some silliness. 5 chapters max. Enjoy. Knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer helpful.

**Chapter 1: Something Wicked**

It's been a few months since the storm, and things are going pretty well for Callie Torres. Her wife is adjusting nicely to her new routine of regular therapy, exercise, and sharing a little bit more of herself with Callie. Arizona is doing so well, in fact, that she is exhibiting a new confidence, becoming a little bit more like her old self, every day… So much so, that Callie is thankful for Arizona's awful dream. The dream, in which she cheated, and then made a wish- with devastating consequences- that, ultimately, was the catalyst for Arizona seeking therapy. Plus, her daughter is well on her way to being completely potty trained, no more pull-ups! Yes, Callie Torres is happy.

Callie is currently in a supply closet, taking inventory of her department's supplies. She's holding a clipboard, and periodically writing things down. Unbeknownst to her, in the rear of the closet, where the shadows are darkest, a figure lurks, waiting to make its move. Slowly, the figure starts to inch forward into the light, when, suddenly, the door burst open, and in walks Alex Karev, causing the figure in the shadows to retreat. And Callie to drop her clipboard and grab at her heart.

Not giving Callie a chance to recover, Alex immediately rips into her. "You have to do something about your wife. She's driving me crazy."

Callie, being the smart woman that she is, instantly replies, "Nope. I'm not falling into that trap. You're an adult, deal with her yourself." She bends over and picks up her clipboard, resuming her counting.

"Hey!" Alex shouts. "She's become abusive, I thought therapy was supposed to help her?"

"What? What do you mean 'abusive'?" Callie replies, looking around to make sure they are alone. "And _ixnay_ the _erapythay_ talk, you know how sensitive she is about that. It hurts her pride."

"Right, sorry." Alex apologies, but carries on anyway. "I used to have this special thing I did with the kids, to put them at ease when I'm about to do something painful?" He continues, "I'd tell them to 'count to three and make a wish,' but now every time I do that, Robbins smacks me in the back of the head. It's abusive."

Callie stops counting again, and rolls her eyes. "Oh, come on. Man up, Alex. So, she has a thing about wishes now. You should respect that, and come up with a new catch phrase, or whatever."

Alex and Callie stare at each other for a good thirty seconds before Alex eventually gives in, and looks away first. "I still say she's bonkers." He grumbles.

Callie, smiling at her little victory, "And I still say she's cute. Get over yourself, and leave me alone so I can finish my inventory."

Alex leaves. Callie resumes her inventory of supplies and the lurking figure begins to move forward again. This time being foiled by Callie's pager going off. As Callie exits the supply closet, the figure moves completely into the light, revealing her wrinkly visage.

"This isn't working, we have to try something else. " Said Anya, aka, Anyanka, Patron Saint of Women Scorned.

She appears to be talking to thin air, but a very translucent figure appears beside Anya.

The ghost of former plastic surgeon, Mark Sloan, replies. "Yeah, I'm not sure sneaking up on her is the best idea. We should try a more direct approach."

"I can't confront her in the open, if D'Hoffyn finds out I'm helping…" Anya visibly shivers, "Well, let's just say he is very good at creatively punishing people, even vengeance demons."

"And she literally can't see me, I'm a _ghost_, which is why I called you for help." Mark's ghost sighs.

"OH! I know!" Anya exclaims. "You have to possess her. Go… jump inside her body."

"No way, if I were to go anywhere near 'inside' of Callie…" This time, it's Mark's turn to shiver. "Arizona would find a way resurrect me, just so she could kill me again. Not going to happen. Think of something else."

"It has to be her," Anya argues, "if you possess someone already infected with hubris, that person will die and your soul will be obliterated."

"What makes you so sure Callie isn't already possessed by Hubris? She's pretty full of herself, sometimes." He chuckles. "One time, when the chief didn't hire her as an attending, she walked out- telling him, he would 'rue the day' and that she was a 'rock star with a scalpel.' She's not without ego."

"Ah, you see." Anya said, confidently, "I did some research on her- I learned from the best - and her middle name is Iphigenia- she's under Aremis' protection. Possessing demons wouldn't go near her. But… Pretty much everyone else in this place is susceptible to his influence, especially the surgeons."

The ghost of Mark sighs, resigned, "We'll just have to find someone else, but I'm not possessing anyone less than a doctor, and absolutely no one from derm. I have standards."

Anya rolls her eyes. "If the rest of the surgeons in this place are as egotistical as you, then no wonder a Hubris demon came here. He can hide in plain sight with all the arrogance flying around this place."

The door to the supply room opens again and in walks intern Heather Brooks. Anya is able to normalize her face, just in time.

"Oh, hello. Um, are you lost?" Brooks asks, with a smile.

"Yes, actually… I am." Anya said, "I'm looking for a… replacement for my… thing, that, um Dr. Torres… said was maybe… in here."

Mark Sloan's ghost mocks "Real smooth. Are you always this clever?"

Mousy looks on expectantly a giant grin on her face, while Mark talks over her in the background.

"Why is she looking at you like that?" Mark continues, only being heard by Anya. "What is wrong with her face? Why does she look so… goofy?"

Anya replies, through gritted teeth. "Shut. Up."

The ghost of Mark replies "Sorry."

At the same time Brooks said "Sorry."

Anya turning and looking directly at Brooks said "Oh, not you. I was talking to… myself..." She side eye's Mark's ghost, giving him the evil eye.

Heather Brooks laughs, "Oh, ok. Heh, it's no problem. I talk to myself all the time, it's why a bunch of the attending surgeons here think I'm a weirdo. That's my nickname, well, that and Mousy. Dr. Yang and Dr. Grey call me Mousy."

"Ok, there is no way this person is possessed by Hubris, she would drive him insane. Get in her now." Anya said, directed at Mark.

But since Mousy can't see Mark she thinks Anya is talking to her. "What? I don't understand, what's… Hubris? Get in who? What?"

"Her? Really? She's only an intern." Mark sighs,

"Interns are doctors, right?"

"Yes," Mousy answers.

"Barely," Mark replies at the same time.

"Look, you can't afford to be finicky about this, just do it." Anya said, losing patience with his pickiness.

"Will she know I'm there?" Mark finally acquiesces.

"Not if you don't want her too." Anya responds. "Just hurry and jump in there before she gets suspicious."

"Ummm, do what? Suspicious of what?" Mousy asks, her brows furrow as she looks around.

"How do I do it?" Mark asks.

"You have to go in through her nose." Anya answers.

"Ok…" Mousy said, looking thoroughly confused, "this conversation is getting a little strange…"

The ghostly apparition that was once Mark Sloan dissipates into a freeform mist and slowly glides into Mousy's nose. Her body shakes a bit, spins around a couple times, and then finally straightens up. She clears her throat and …

Mark in Mousy's body laughs "This feels so strange. I'm corporeal again!" He start touching things, grabbing things off the shelf, and smelling them. "Oh my god." He groans. "I can smell." Then he reaches up and touches his face, his hands sliding down…

"Don't you dare touch her boobs. Perv." Anya warns.

"Sorry." Mark in Mousy's body replies, a bit sheepishly.

"Well, now all you have to do is find Dr. Torres, convince her you are Mark Sloan- back on a mini-break from the afterlife- recruit her to help you find the Hubris demon, and save Grey Sloan Memorial." Anya looks at her watch. "And you have three hours to do it. Good luck with that."

"Wait? Three hours? Why three hours?"

"It's all the time you have to possess her, if you stay any longer it could cause permanent neurological damage. Just… use these three hours to convince Torres. I've told you everything you need to know to defeat a Hubris demon… have her do all the leg work. If you rule out Arizona, have her help, she's familiar with the Hellmouth, she should be easy to convince. I'm sorry," she apologizes, "it's the best I can do. I really need to go before I get into trouble."

With that Anya disappears, leaving Mark – in intern Mousy's body- standing in the supply room. He looks around for a second, as if to make sure he's alone, and gently pulls the neck of his scrub top out and takes a quick peek at the goods.


	2. Chapter 2: Old Friends

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: Post Arizona's devastating wish, things are back to normal, until... the collective egos of the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial attract a Hubris demon, which feeds on ego, Callie and Arizona must figure out who's been possessed by Hubris and who is just normal levels of full of themselves. A Sequel to A Demon, a Goddess, and a Muse: Arizona's Absurdly Disturbing Alternative.

**Note**: This is just some silliness. 5 chapters max. Enjoy. **Knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer helpful.**

**Chapter 2: Old Friends**

Having been paged from her inventory duties, Callie arrives in the pit ready for some action. As she walks toward the charge nurse, the sights and sounds of a somewhat calm ER pervade her senses. A child with pitiful eyes, sits, sniffling in his mother's lap, as an intern tries to examine him. A little further down, hands mottled with age marks, a woman struggles to pull the oxygen tube out of her nose, as a couple of nurses fight to keep her steady, gently talking her down from her panic.

All in all, pretty quiet for the pit. "Hey, I was paged?" Callie taps the desk, causing the charge nurse to look up.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," the nurse responds. "There was a displaced femur fracture, but Dr. Kepner took it." At Callie's questioning look, she adds, "she said it was a simple internal fixation, and a first year could do it, we didn't need to bother you."

"Huh. Ok, well, you could have cancelled the page, saved me a trip." Callie said.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Torres. I was updating these charts and didn't even think about. I'll do better next time."

"Meh, it's alright," Callie waves off the apology. "I suppose I'll go finish up my inventory. Tell, Kepner, 'thanks'… I guess."

Callie heads to elevators, not really feeling the inventory anymore. Arizona had finally reached a point where she was comfortable, and confident enough, that a little hospital friskiness was back on the menu. Callie pulls out her phone and starts typing, chuckling a little to herself at her cheekiness. As soon as the text was sent, her pager suddenly starts buzzing. Disappointment edging in, Callie pulls out her pager, then smiles at what she sees on the display: **ortho on-call room, 911.** _Hee, she beat me to it, it's so nice being on the same wave length again._

* * *

Arriving at the ortho on-call room, Callie takes a second before going in. Holding her hand up in front of her mouth, she exhales and sniffs. She pulls out her phone and holds the screen up in front of her, running her hand through her hair, smiling at herself. Phone back her pocket, she adjusts her cleavage and smooths down her scrub top, then, upon finding it all satisfactory, she opens the door and steps in.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in aaahh…? Oh. My. God. Weirdo, what are you doing in here?

"I'm the one that paged you," Mark in Mousy's body replies.

"Oh, um… Look, I'm flattered," Callie stammers, "but I'm married, to a wonderful, wonderful- awesome even- woman. Who, I love very much. So this…" She gestures back and forth between them. "Is not going to happen."

"I'm not here for sex…" Mark/Mousy explains. "I need your help."

"Oh, good, thank god." Callie chuckles, then adds, "You know, I had my suspicions about you, but Arizona says my gaydar sucks... Anyway, I know a couple dermatology fellows, well, _Arizona_ knows them, but I might be able to get her to set you up with one? I think they are both still single…"

"Torres! Stop. I don't have much time…." Mousy grabs Callie on both shoulders, stopping her mid-rant, and looking her directly in the eyes. "I'm just going to say this… It's me… Mark."

"What?" Callie exclaims. "Is this a joke? Did Cristina put you up to this?"

"No, Cal, it's me. I… I've missed you. And Sofia… Arizona too. You've got to listen to me," Mousy pleads. "I need your help, the whole hospital needs your help.'

"Uh uh, nope. Stop. This isn't funny. I don't know whose idea this was, but you need to stop. Seriously." She turns to leave.

"No! Don't go. I… I can prove it. Please," Mousy begs.

Callie stops, stands with hand on doorknob, she doesn't turn around, or say anything. She just stands there, waiting.

"Ok, ok, I got this… Um, remember that time that Lexie broke my…"

"That's common knowledge, it's, like, almost an urban legend around here. Proves nothing."

"What about our 12 step program, for those sexed-up stalkers? Or, or Pound-caking? Remember Pound caking? Vagina vote? Anything?"

"Ok, stop. Stop talking please. This… this is getting really weird. Pound caking is not a thing! And, our 12 step program only had one step."

"Right. Step one: don't sleep with interns. Callie, it's me. I swear."

Callie still looks unconvinced.

"Ok, I didn't want to have to bring this up, but… remember that time I videotaped us? You had on that sexy flowered number? You made me delete it but, I hid a disc in the…"

This, gets Callie's attention. "Wait, there is a disc of that? Where? I have to destroy it before Arizona gets wind of it." She shakes her head, "Wait, no, I don't believe any of this. This is crazy. Mark is dead. My best friend is dead. This is cruel. Stop it." Tears filling her eyes.

"Cal, I know, I know. I miss you too. But this is really important. I need you to believe me, like you always believed in me. You always knew I could be more, Callie. We shared a child, you let me be a huge part of your life, even when it would have been easier on you if..." He trails off.

"I… I don't know..." Callie shakes her head, "I want to believe you."

He smiles, "You always had faith in me, a faith that no one else did… Just…" He thinks for a moment, then sighs, "I'm here with Anya's help."

"Anya? What? How… how do you know about that? That was all a dream- Arizona's dream. How?"

"It wasn't a dream Callie, Anya is real. The Hellmouth is real, and it's growing. Please, Callie. I only have a few hours. You have to believe me."

Callie thinks for a few minutes, contemplating everything, trying to make sense of it.

Finally, she looks into Mousy's eyes and sees nothing but sincerity. "Mark? Is… Is it really you?"

"It really is. I really am."

Callie starts crying, her hand covering her mouth, as she looks at her dead best friend- in the form of an intern, who's name she can't even remember. "Oh, Mark… Ugh, I missed you. You died, you weren't supposed to die! Sofia, she…"

"Oh, oh wow. I really want to cry right now, too. Oh my god are these hormones? I'm feeling so emotional and overwhelmed, I don't know how to deal with this…" Mousy/Mark whimpers, her lip trembling.

"Hey, hey, look at me. You know what will make you feel better?"

"What?" she sniffs.

"If you shut up and hug me."

* * *

Arizona had been sitting in her office all morning, going over scans, trying to come up with a plan for a two year old, with a particularly tricky Chiari malformation. Rubbing her forehead at the headache forming just above the bridge of her nose, she sighs and sits back in her chair.

Her phone starts buzzing, indicating and incoming text. Her eyes roam over the words and she starts to blush at the boldness of her wife. She quickly shuts down her computer, puts the scans away, and locks up her office.

She steps onto the elevator, coming into the middle of a conversation between Jackson Avery and intern Stephanie.

"So, then I made this skin graft that was so beautiful, god himself, would have been impressed." Jackson boasts.

Stephanie practically swoons, "I would love to see more of your skin…" She takes her index finger and runs it down the lapel of his lab coat, then looking over and seeing Arizona, she corrects, "Uh, I mean your skin _grafts_."

Arizona rolls her eyes. When the doors finally open on the orthopedic floor, she invokes a silent 'thank you', and hastily exits the elevator.

Making her way down the hall, she can't help thinking how great things have been the past few months. They aren't perfect yet, but therapy has been helping. She's been able to expose herself to Dr. Wyatt in a way she never thought she would, but she still hasn't allowed herself to be completely vulnerable with her wife. She's not intentionally keeping things from her, but it's hard to lay one's self bare in front of someone who could hurt you. She's felt so many conflicting things since the crash, things she wasn't sure Callie was ready to hear. So she still withheld a bit of herself, just a small bit. In a tiny little box, which she wasn't ready to open- just yet. The 'dream' did make one thing clear, though, she couldn't, and wouldn't, live without her girls. Callie and Sofia were her world, and she was working very hard to find, and fix, herself. Plus, she was having a lot of fun letting Callie get to know this 'new her' too.

Which brings her to the door of the ortho on-call room, eager to stop her impending headache before it has a chance to take hold.

Arizona turns the knob and peeks her head in, hoping to catch her wife unaware. She loves to gaze at her unsuspecting wife, a new habit she's picked up since her 'dream'. She does it, even though Callie thinks it's creepy when she catches her. This time, however, it wasn't just an unaware _Callie _that she sees, but an unaware Callie in the arms of another woman.

"OH. My. God." Arizona said, as she comes fully into the on-call room. "Is this payback? You page me here for this? Are you… is this you running? You promised me you wouldn't run. I thought we were doing better? "

"Arizona, no! This isn't what it looks like! This isn't Weirdo, it… it's Mark."

"Because I have been really trying, with the therapy…. Wait, what?" Arizona stammers.

"It's Mark, well his… ghost?" Callie looks at Mousy for confirmation, at his/her nod, she continues, "he's back from the dead, and in this weird intern's body! Anya, you remember her, right? She sent him to help us."

"Well, technically, I summoned her. She just gave me the skinny on the bad guy, and taught me how to possess bodies," Mark corrects.

Callie and Mark look at Arizona expectantly, both formulating arguments to counter her inevitable denial.

"I knew it! I knew it wasn't a dream. I told you, Callie. I told you. I'm _not_ crazy. Yes!" She does a little victory dance, punctuating her 'yes' with a fist pump.

"Ok, I totally thought that was going to end different." Callie, laughs.

After the initial excitement at finding out she wasn't, in fact, crazy. That the 'dream' that had felt so real- was real. It slowly sinks in that her baby's dead father, her… friend, was standing in front of her. "Mark Sloan!" Arizona angrily points at Mousy. "You died! You promised me you wouldn't!" she burst into tears.

"Yeah, more like that." Callie grabs Arizona and hugs her.

"I'm sorry Robbins, I really am… My soul was willing, but my body…"

Getting her tears under control, Arizona looks at Mark in Mousy body. "Um, speaking of bodies… What are you doing in Heather Brooks?"

"Oh, right! That's her name!" Callie blurts, then cringes a little at Arizona's exasperated look.

"Callie, you have to start learning people's names," she gently chastises. Turning to Mark she asks, "So? Care to explain how you ended up in Dr. Brooks' body?"

"I picked a woman, so I'd finally have a shot with you, Blondie. Or… maybe both of you at the same time."

"Mark Sloan! Do I need to find a brick?" Arizona challenges. "I'd hate to smash poor Heather's face because of your stupid mouth."

"Jesus, Robbins. Did you lose your sarcasm detector along with your leg?" Mark retorts.

"No, but I did lose my patience. That was incredibly offensive, not to mention, bordering on a complete violation of poor Brooks." Arizona came back just as quickly.

"You are the one who threatened to smash her face!" Mark said defensively, "It was just a joke. You know I would never…"

"I know Mark, you're not _that_ bad. You _were_ an offensive pig sometimes, though, and apparently still are."

"You missed me. Admit it," Mark smiles.

Callie just stands there grinning at the familiar sarcastic give and take.

"Never." Arizona replies, with a grin, clearly feigning her dissent.

"So, Mark?" Callie asks. "Answers, please? Who, what, how?"

"Right. Do you guys remember about a week ago, we had that earthquake? It wasn't big, just a few tremors?"

"Yeah, yeah I remember. Don't you, Arizona?"

"Oh, yes! We were having breakfast, and Sof's eyes got so big." Arizona said, smiling in remembrance. "She thought it was thunder..." she trails off, seeing the look of longing on Mousy's face. "Oh, Mark, I'm so sorry. Forget I mentioned… just tell us what happened."

"No, it's fine. I visit her in day care, all the time."

"Ok, that's kind of disturbing, Mark," Callie, said.

"You are haunting our daughter?" Arizona berates.

"What? No, I _visit_. I visit her, I don't _haunt_. She can't see me. No one can. Come on guys, give me some credit."

Arizona just crosses her arms, and stares at him.

"Fine. I'll stop. I have to move on soon anyway, it's time.

"Mark, no. You don't have to go…" Callie implores.

"No, Callie, I do. My time is passed, I've overstayed my welcome, I should have gone a year ago, Lexie is waiting for me." He clears his throat, "As soon as I see you guys through this, and I leave this body, I'm making my way to _the elevator_."

"Uh, Ok. What's in the elevator?"

"The portal," Mark said. "To beyond."

"The 'portal to beyond' is on the elevator?" Arizona asks.

"Yep," Mark replied.

"Huh." Callie pondered, with an astonished frown.

"Sorry to rush this little afterlife tutorial, but we need to hurry up. I only have a little bit of time left, and I have to bring you up to date on everything that's been happening around here," Mark urges, "then teach you everything you need to know to fix it. Plus, I kind of want to go visit my Sofiarita, while I still have a body. I want to touch her, and smell her." He makes a face, "In a non-creepy way."

* * *

An hour later, having imparted all his borrowed-from-Anya wisdom. The three made a quick visit to the daycare. Utilizing Mousy's body, Mark, hugged and kissed and smelled Sofia, telling her how much he loved and missed her.

After saying goodbye to his daughter- tears freely flowing from all three parents- and a heartfelt farewell to Callie and Arizona, Mark took Mousy's body to a nearby on-call room. He laid her gently in the bed, thanked her for her help, and then exorcised himself from her body. When he left the room, she was sleeping soundly, no worse for wear.

He drifted through the halls of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital one last time. Visiting on-call rooms, operating rooms, the attending lounge, the cafeteria, reliving memories in each space he roamed. Finally finding himself in the lobby, standing in front of the elevator. Safe in the knowledge that Callie and Arizona could handle it from here, he stands and waits. In time, the elevator doors open to reveal Lexie, in a beautiful wedding gown, waiting for him. "What took you so long?" She asks. Mark just smiles steps into the light.


	3. Chapter 3: With Heavy Heart

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary: **Post Arizona's devastating wish, things are back to normal, until... the collective egos of the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial attract a Hubris demon, which feeds on ego, Callie and Arizona must figure out who's been possessed by Hubris and who is just normal levels of full of themselves. A Sequel to A Demon, a Goddess, and a Muse: Arizona's Absurdly Disturbing Alternative.

**Note: **This is just some silliness. 5 chapters max. Enjoy. Knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer helpful.

**Chapter 3: With Heavy Heart**

Callie and Arizona are walking down street pushing Sofia in the stroller. They left the hospital a couple hours before their shift ended to get a head start on their evening of supernatural activities. Owning the hospital has its benefits, Arizona delegated to Karev, and Callie to Kepner, who kept trying to take all of her surgeries anyway.

Callie is being unusually quiet, which has Arizona concerned. She keeps sneaking looks, but decides against bringing it up, for now. After the silence goes on for a little too long, Arizona tries to fill it with small talk.

"Can you believe they had that cup thingy at hospital gift shop?" Arizona asks.

"Hmm," Callie evasively responds.

"I mean, what are the odds that one of the things we need to get rid of this Hubris demon fellow, was already at our hospital? _It is_ a pretty awesome gift shop, but that's just…wow," Arizona said. She takes another peek over at Callie, then continues, "I guess it's just a replica of some ancient Greek pottery- until we do that spell, but it's still cool that is was easy to find. I think it's a sign, a sign that we are going to successfully give this guy the boot from whoever he is in. Right? I mean, our luck usually isn't that… Lucky."

"Yep."

"So…. Uh, who do you think he's possessed?" Arizona asks, trying to coax Callie out of her brooding silence. "If he's attracted to ego, I would say… probably Yang, right? Or Shepherd? They both hold pretty high opinions of themselves."

Callie chuckles a bit, "We all do Arizona, and it could be anyone." She shrugs, then adds, a bit grumpily, "could be you."

"What?" Arizona blurts, astounded at Callie's response. Unable to contain her curiosity in any longer, she asks, "Is something wrong? Are you mad at me?"

Callie sighs, rather exaggeratedly, "I don't really want to talk about all this stuff, now…," she points to the stroller, "in front of Sof. Let's just get to the bookstore, get what we need, and go home."

Not wanting to let this drop, Arizona carries on, "Is it Mark? Are you sad?" She reaches for Callie's arm, "Because, I'm kind of sad now, too."

Callie yanks her arm away, "Arizona, stop. It's not Mark… Just, stop. I … My head hurts and I just want to get this all over with. Ok? Can we just walk to the bookstore in silence?"

Arizona sighs, but lets it drop.

* * *

Arizona watches Callie carefully as she gets Sofia ready for bed, she is absolutely sure something is bothering her wife. Though, Callie's not been outright angry, not since before the bookstore, ever since they said goodbye to Mark, she's been quiet and withdrawn. Like she's over thinking something, and that is usually Arizona's job.

Arizona sighs and pulls out the book they got this afternoon at the little indie bookstore, next to the florist. She always thought the children's section there was magical, little did she know, the section in the backroom was _actually_ magical. Like wizards and witches magic. Running her fingers over the title of the very old tome, she starts carefully flipping the pages, scrunching her nose up at the musty book smell. She locates the section on the spell they need and wonders if she should go ahead and read it, or wait for Callie to finish up with Sofia.

"She is out," Callie declared, startling Arizona out of her thoughts. "So…, what do we have to do?"

"Oh! Uh, I haven't really looked yet, I thought we could read it together," Arizona suggests. "I did, um, find the spell we need." She pulls the blanket aside and timidly asks, "Sit with me?"

Face softening at the tone of her wife's voice, Callie replies "Of course, Arizona, always."

* * *

"So once we determine who is possessed with Hubris, we just, feed them the... I can't believe I'm saying this, but we feed them the humble pie…. And that's it? The demon is gone? Obliterated?"

"That's how I'm reading this, Arizona," Callie replied. "Seems simple enough."

"Yeah, but now we have to channel our humility into this cup, so we can use it to make that frickin' pie. That seems a bit… unnerving." Arizona said as she swallows hard, not looking forward to process.

"Right, we all know how hard it is for you lay your _soul_ bare to someone." Callie retorts sarcastically.

"Hey, that's not fair. Don't…" Arizona starts, feeling a bit offended.

Callie sighs, "You're right, I'm sorry. I just… this is all, so… _unreal_."

"Yeah, well… that doesn't give you the right to be bitchy with me."

"You know what Arizona?" Callie angrily replies "I think I do have the right to be bitchy with you, I do..."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Arizona interrupts.

"Nothing," Callie sighs and concedes. "It means nothing. Forget it. Let's just get with the spell prep, and get this over with."

Arizona squints her eyes at Callie, suspicious of her sudden mood swing, but again deciding to let it drop, she asks. "What if it doesn't work? What if we can't get the cup to glow?"

"You can't humble yourself in front of me to save a life. To save one of our friends?" Callie bristles again.

Arizona, quick to soothe her wife, "I can. I will. I'll… I'll try, I promise. I'm just afraid. Afraid we'll do all of this, say all of this embarrassing stuff to each other, and it won't even work."

"I'm your wife Arizona, if we can't show humility with each other…"

"No. We've got this. We can do it,_ I_ can do it."

* * *

They gather the supplies they need, Callie helps Arizona to the floor. The candles are placed on the floor forming a casting circle around them. Arizona places the cheap knock-off of ancient Greek pottery in the center and places a single cinnamon stick inside the cup. Callie lights the candles, then sits on the floor, within the circle, directly across from Arizona. She holds out both hands, palm up for Arizona to take hold of.

"Are you sure it said cinnamon?" Arizona questions, before they begin. "Because this 'humble pie' is a meat pie right? Why would that have cinnamon in it?"

"Arizona, you love pastitsio. You get it every time we order Greek food. That has ground beef and cinnamon in it."

"Oh, yeah. I do love that. Did I know that had cinnamon in it?" Arizona asks. Then, after a beat, "Do you think it would hurt for us to try some of this 'humble pie'?"

"Hah, honestly, I think we _all_ would benefit from some humble pie. Every single surgeon at Grey Sloan Memorial…" Callie thinks for a moment, "Maybe we should make two?"

Arizona plops another cinnamon stick in the cup, just in case.

"Ready?" Callie asks.

"As I'll ever be."

Their hands, once again clasp tight, and eyes closed, Callie starts the ritual.

"We call upon Goddess Sophrosyne, _Mens sana in corpore sano._ With soundness of mind we beseech you, we humble ourselves before you." Callie recites the memorized text.

Arizona cracks an eye open, "Now what?" she whispers.

Callie opens her eyes as well, and looks around. "Now we 'lay ourselves bare' before Sophrosyne, and she'll… uh… channel all that into the cup, and imbue the cinnamon with our humility… Then we bake a pie. I think."

"Ok… here goes…" Arizona hesitates. "Ummm, you start."

* * *

An hour later, countless humiliating stories having been shared, some they knew and some they didn't. Some made the other laugh until tears came to their eyes, some brought actual tears. They hadn't shared little embarrassing bits of their history like this since they first started dating. Still, nothing happened.

Arizona purses her lips and sighs, "As fun as this has been, I don't think it's working. The cup is supposed to glow, right?"

"Yeah, I think so," Callie agrees.

"Maybe you forgot something."

"Me? Why me?" Callie takes umbrage. "Maybe _you_ forgot something."

"I know _I_ didn't, _you_ did the ritual. Besides you are the one who has been distracted since this afternoon. What is wrong with you anyway?"

"Hah! You really want to go there Arizona? You want to open that can of worms?"

Arizona, a bit hesitant at Callie vehement response, answers, "Yes? I think… I think we should talk about what is bothering us Callie, we don't want it to fester in to something unfixable."

"That's rich, coming from you."

"What? What is that supposed to mean?" Arizona demands.

Callie grits her teeth and responds, "All of this is real, Arizona. The magic, the hellmouth, the demons…"

"Yes. And…"

"YOU CHEATED ON ME! It wasn't just a dream, it was real. You cheated and yeah… maybe you regretted it and took it all back, but you still did it. And I can't stop thinking about that."

Arizona is shocked, stunned by Callie's outburst. "No, Callie. No. I didn't. None of that happened."

"But it did. You cheated, you wished… it was crappy, and you unwished. It… it was all by luck, or by Anya being nice that she brought you back to before you… you…" Callie burst into tears, "How could you? We have a child."

"Callie, no. Please don't do this. Don't cry. I love you, you know that. You and Sofia are my whole world. I was… messed up Callie, so messed up. I couldn't think straight, nothing in my head made sense back then. The therapy… that's helped. And you, you've helped me," Arizona pleads. "Lauren, uh, _Atё_, she took advantage my turmoil and she used it against me, she deceived me. She manipulated me."

"But _you_ still fucked her, I don't care what she _said_ to you Arizona. You let her touch you… you touched her." Callie said, her anger growing.

"I didn't Callie. I didn't, none of that actually happened. I made a different choice. I chose you."

Callie scoffs, "You're splitting hairs Arizona. The only reason you didn't make that choice, is because you made that choice and didn't like the consequences. You got your cake… I was your _second_ choice."

"No..." Arizona denies.

"It used to be just a dream Arizona, I could deal with that… but, now… It's real. It was all real, and I don't know what to do with this… pain. It hurts, it hurts me." She touches her chest, indicating pain in her heart.

"Oh, Calliope, I'm so, so sorry." Arizona cries, "Please, please, listen to me. Just listen. I was vulnerable, because I was sad- I had pain too. Pain, which I wasn't dealing with, pain, you didn't see- pain, I didn't let you see. And, and... I was blaming you, resenting you. And she came in and clouded my already messed-up brain. I was suffering Callie, and she used magic on me like drug. She dulled my pain. I couldn't help myself, she was _evil_ Callie. I'm telling you, I promise you… I wouldn't have made that choice if I hadn't been under her influence. I swear to you. I swear. That's not me, I'm not that person."

"God, I know Arizona, I know…" Callie finally concedes. "That's why this is all so hard. I'm trying not feel betrayed, because I know the circumstances, but I can't help what I feel. I'm sorry."

"Callie, I am SO sorry. I don't know what to say… How do I fix this?"

Callie shakes her head, not knowing how to respond. Arizona, tears freely flowing, her face begging Callie for something, anything she can to do to fix this.

"Tell me why," Callie finally asks. "Tell me what she made you feel, that I didn't."

"Heard," Arizona simply states. "She made me feel acknowledged. I… I felt like I was calling to you, but you didn't hear me. I wanted so desperately for you to see that I wasn't the same person as before. You, you kept telling me it was just a leg, but it wasn't. It wasn't just a leg to me."

"So… are you telling me, the fact that I loved you so much, the fact that I didn't see you differently, that with or without your leg, you are still my wife, the woman I love and promised forever to, that I didn't see you as less… that's what lead you to... to… that?"

"I felt like you wanted me to be something I wasn't anymore. You wanted the old Arizona."

"I just wanted you. Whoever you are," Callie whispers. "I'm sorry you felt like you had to act a certain way. It wasn't my intention. I didn't want to stifle you Arizona. Or make you feel like you couldn't talk to me. I love all of you, even the grumpy parts."

"No, I know that now, Callie. I do. Therapy has helped me so much." Arizona takes a deep breath, "I saw _myself_ as less, and I resented that you could look at me and just see the same person, that it honestly didn't bother you. It, it made me mad that you could so easily accept this. I lost a piece of myself and it felt like you didn't care. It was business as usual for you, but to me, my whole world was different." She sighs, and continues, "I wasn't thinking clearly, Callie. The thing I love about you the most, that big heart of yours- was loving me, when I wasn't loving myself. My anger and self-loathing was causing me to misinterpret your acceptance, as something else. I was terrified you would run, and terrified you only stayed out of obligation. Now, I think… I think, maybe I was subconsciously giving you an out? If I broke my vows first, you wouldn't be duty-bound to stay. I called it wrong. I was so wrong. Grrrr," Arizona growls in frustration. "I'm not saying this right, Callie. Just know, that I was messed up. I was falling deeper and deeper into this pit of despair and I wanted you to catch me, but at the same time, I didn't want you to know I was falling. I put you in a no-win situation, and I see that now." She stops and thinks a moment, then continues. "Twice, actually. When I made you promise to save my leg, and then again when I hid my pain, but resented you for not seeing it. I'm so sorry."

At that Arizona stops and looks on expectantly at Callie. Hoping for a response, any response.

"I knew. I knew I would lose you, if you lost your leg. I… that's why I tried so hard, you know? To convince you that it was just a leg? I wanted so desperately for you to stay with me and be ok, that I didn't let you feel what you needed to feel." She sighs, "I'm the one that should be sorry, Arizona. I'm sorry I didn't let myself see you, I should have recognized and acknowledged your pain," Callie chastises herself. "And… I shouldn't have made that promise, as a doctor I know that. I know that. But as your wife, how could I not? Owen, god, he tried to get me to prepare you, but I couldn't break your heart like that, I couldn't be the one who…" Callie wipes at her tears "I'm sorry I failed you, as your wife and your doctor. I'm so sorry I wasn't good enough fix it, to fix you. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"What? Of course I forgive you, of course I do! Callie, we were both victims, of awful, awful circumstances. It wasn't your fault. My body failed me, not you. Not you." Arizona then questions, "Can you forgive me?"

"I… I do."

Arizona lunges into Callie's arms. Taking comfort from her wife's strong embrace. They cried their hurt onto each other shoulders, releasing all the pain and anger and resentment.

"We know how to do this now, when we need help, we ask." Burying her face in Callie's hair, "We don't wait, we don't suffer hoping the other will notice. We don't keep this stuff inside. We're a team right?" She pulls back and looks her wife in the eyes.

Callie smiles, as Arizona brings her thumbs to her face and removes her tears, "Team Robbins-Torres. Me, you, and Sof."

"I love you."

"I love you, too"

Back in Callie's arms, Arizona rubs her face on Callie's shoulder.

"Did you just wipe your snotty, I've-been-crying-nose on my shoulder?" Callie pulls away and asks her wife, eyebrow raising.

Arizona starts to form a righteous denial, even though she did wipe her nose on Callie's shoulder, when she notices the cup with the cinnamon is glowing.

"Hey! It worked!" She blurts and points to the cup.

Callie smiles, "I guess we did it."

"Team Robbins-Torres for the win!"


	4. Chapter 4: Friend and Foe

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: Post Arizona's devastating wish, things are back to normal, until... the collective egos of the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial attract a Hubris demon, which feeds on ego, Callie and Arizona must figure out who's been possessed by Hubris and who is just normal levels of full of themselves. A Sequel to A Demon, a Goddess, and a Muse: Arizona's Absurdly Disturbing Alternative.

**Note**: This is just some silliness. 5 chapters max. Enjoy. Knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer helpful.

**Chapter 4: Friend and Foe**

Striding confidently down the hall toward the boardroom, Callie and Arizona burst through the double doors, like they were bursting onto the scene in the opening credits of a television crime drama. They are on a mission, a very important mission. Countless lives, and possibly the _career_, of one of their closest friends, could be at stake. Armed only with their wits, an iPad, and a pie… they must defeat the Hubris demon, and banish him from Grey Sloan Memorial.

"I feel like Cagney and Lacey, or Rizzoli and Isles… ohhh, Booth and Bones!" Arizona exclaims.

"I totally have to be Bones, 'cause of the name."

"No, I wanted to be Bones, she's really smart… and a she. Like me."

"Arizona, if you haven't noticed, I'm a 'she' too. You only sleep with 'shes'… maybe we should stick with Rizzoli and Isles. I'll be the hot one."

"They are _both_ hot, but they aren't sleeping together, which is really a shame. Missed opportunity, if you ask me."

"Of course they are, I mean, I thought that was the premise of the show? Wake up, have breakfast together, solve a crime, go home and sleep together. That's what happened in every episode I've seen."

"I'm sure they aren't _sleeping_ _together_, Callie. They just occasionally sleep together."

"Arizona, they cuddle more than we do. I think you missed an episode or something."

"I googled it. They aren't."

Arriving at the boardroom, they exchange a glance before heading through the door. They take their seats, and as Arizona reaches for a donut, Callie grabs her arm, leans over and whispers in her ear. "I get to be bad cop."

* * *

With Jackson droning on about budgetary issues, Arizona and Derek occasionally putting in their two cents worth, Callie lets her eyes wander over her fellow owners, trying to suss out who could be possessed. Arizona thinks it's probably Cristina, but Callie's not so sure. Meredith has and underlying ego, just because she isn't outwardly arrogant, doesn't means she doesn't feel, and act, superior. But Callie's money is on Derek.

Cristina looks like she's in actual physical pain at every boring word that Jackson utters, which brings a smile to Callie's face, and she chuckles to herself. Arizona notices and sends a questioning glance back toward Callie. Callie shakes it off, tilting her head in Jackson's direction, indicating they should be paying attention. Which brings Callie condemning gaze to Jackson… The more she looks at him, the more he speaks, the more she watches his smug face, the more she considers him a prime suspect.

She pulls out her iPad and brings up the Demon Buster app, created by W. Rosenberg, which Anya, through Mark in Mousy's body, told them about. Scrolling through the types and names of various demons. She finds the section on Possessing Demons, then starts scrolling through the subsets, finally finding Hubris.

A Hubris demon is a minor demon, not a top level priority for most professional demon hunters. They are attracted to places with high levels of ego, where they can feed, unnoticed, for quite some time, usually culminating in the possessed subject performing a fatal act of arrogance, causing the death or downfall of the subject and or others. They are easily exorcised with the help of a magical humble pie. Keeping the subject unaware of your suspicions is vital to a successful exorcism. If possible, the demon hunter should get a picture of the subject and run through the Demon Buster app, as it can sometimes detect demonic presence.

After their much needed emotional release, Callie and Arizona stayed up well into the night, baking the pie and coming up with a plan of action. Which brings them here now, to the boardroom, where Arizona keeps poking the distracted Callie in the arm. Finally getting Callie's attention, Arizona clears her throat and addresses the board.

"Callie and I thought it would be a good idea to make a, uh… hospital brochure, um kind of like a Grey Sloan yearbook. With, pictures and personality profiles of the staff."

"Lame." Cristina mutters.

"Rude much? It's a great idea," Callie said, glaring at Cristina, then back at Jackson. "It might help put patients at ease, if they feel they know us on a personal level."

"No, you are right, Dr. Torres," Jackson agrees. "A sense of familiarity will also make the patients less likely to sue, in the doubtful case one of us makes a mistake."

"Both mine and Arizona's schedules are clear today, so we'd like to, uh, get started on some preliminary interviews."

"Sounds perfect, just tell me when and where you want me…" Jackson starts.

"Cristina," Arizona interrupts, with a bit too much glee, effectively ignoring Jackson. "I noticed on the surgical board coming in, you are free until this afternoon, why don't we start with you?

Cristina looks back and forth between Callie and Arizona suspiciously, but finally acquiesces, "Fine, but Mere is doing hers at the same time."

"What, Cristina? I have things…" Meredith starts to protest.

"No you don't, Kepner took your chole, and I know for a fact you just unlatched Bailey from your boob right before we came in here." Cristina challenges, then adds with a laugh, "By the way, it will _never_ get old saying that. Thank you for naming your kid that. I can't wait until you start potty training and we get to talk about Bailey's poop. "

* * *

Having moved to the attending's lounge, Callie and Arizona are sitting opposite Meredith and Cristina. Arizona is writing on her clipboard as Callie is looming over Meredith giving her the third degree, perhaps taking her role as 'bad cop' a bit too seriously.

"Being venerated by everyone is gratifying, isn't it Meredith?" Callie prods.

"I guess..."

"We all have fantasies where we're powerful and respected, where people pay attention to us."

"Uh, sure... Maybe? Callie what is…?"

"Just answer the questions Grey. You don't want to get her angry." Arizona interrupts, with a smile and a wink at Callie.

"Angry? Why would she be…?" Meredith shakes her head, confused. "I thought this just a personality profile for a brochure? What do my fantasies have to do with anything?"

Callie stands abruptly, her chair sliding back, and crumples her styrofoam coffee cup. "Sometimes the fantasy isn't enough, is it Meredith?" Callie animatedly continues. "Sometimes we have to make it so people don't ignore us... make them pay attention. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?" She leans in, giving Meredith her best Bailey stare.

"Uh… You want me to pay attention?"

"I don't know what's happening here… but I like it." Cristina said, smile adorning her face.

"Ok, that's enough Callie. Sit down, let me try," Arizona said, putting a restraining hand on Callie.

Arizona clears her throat, "Do you ever feel that you've created a false persona for yourself, the 'girl who does everything right', and how much of a strain does it put on you to maintain it?"

"Yeah, Mere? How much strain?" Cristina chuckles.

"Shut it, Yang, you're next." Callie breaks in, pointing menacingly at Cristina.

"I rarely do anything right. So, moderate strain, I guess."

"She has mommy issues, remember?" Cristina inserts. "She represses everything in a deep, dark, twisted place."

"Do you enjoy being at the center of events in which other people are directly involved?" Arizona continues.

"Um, do you mean, do I always make other people's issues about me? How is all this relevant to…"

"I've totally seen you do that, Mere."

"Cristina! Whose side are you on?" Meredith said.

"I'm your person. I am on your side. Because you are Meredith and I'm Cristina."

"There are no sides!" Arizona yells. "This is just a simple interview. No sides."

"Ok, I'm calling bullsh…crap on no one ever thinking you two are a couple. You practically professed your love just now Cristina." Callie adds.

"Do you spend a lot of time thinking about me and Meredith, Callie?"

"What?" Callie blurts.

"It a valid question." Cristina retorts.

"Oh, yes, Arizona and I lie awake in bed at night discussing the intricacies of the Yang/Grey relationship. Our ship name for you is Yay."

"Maybe if you spent more time discussing your own relationship…"

"Hey! We're the ones asking the questions, Dr. Yang. Zip it." Arizona said, effectively putting a stop to Callie and Cristina's back and forth.

* * *

Arizona continues asking a few more strange personality profile type questions, finally concluding with "Do you ever feel so superior that you feel above 'insert Deity name here'?"

"Arizona…" Callie whispers. "I think you were supposed to ascertain her god preference before you asked that question. And then actually use that god's name." Callie sighs and points to the clipboard, "Not what you just did."

"Ok, stop," Cristina holds up her hand. "What the hell is going on? Don't give me the brochure crap, I'm not stupid, like Jackson. Spill."

"I…" Arizona drags the word out, "don't know what you are talking about?"

As Callie and Arizona stutter and deny, and try to cover- Anya teleports in behind them, causing both Meredith and Cristina to jump from their chairs.

"You guys are the worst interrogators I've ever seen, and I've been around for over a thousand years!" Anya exclaims. "Hubris will bring this hospital to its knees before you rule out these two. Use the stupid app, which stupid Willow wrote, and get this over with."

"Yeah. Hey, did everybody see that woman just appear out of nowhere?" Cristina questions.

"Uh, well, uh... sort of." Callie stammers.

"Yep. Demons are real. A lot of them are attracted to Seattle- because this hospital sits on a baby Hellmouth-a supernatural hot-spot, so to speak," Anya deadpans, "It's why bad stuff happens here. Arizona will fill you in." She gestures toward the stunned blonde.

"I know it's hard to accept at first…" Arizona starts.

"Actually, it explains a _lot_." Meredith replies, as if she's had an epiphany.


	5. Chapter 5: Hospital Hijinks

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: Post Arizona's devastating wish, things are back to normal, until... the collective egos of the doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial attract a Hubris demon, which feeds on ego, Callie and Arizona must figure out who's been possessed by Hubris and who is just normal levels of full of themselves. A Sequel to A Demon, a Goddess, and a Muse: Arizona's Absurdly Disturbing Alternative.

**Note**: This is just some silliness. 5 chapters max. Enjoy. Knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer helpful.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Hospital Hijinks**

Having used the app to rule out both Cristina and Meredith, and then bringing them up to date on the Hubris crisis. Callie gloats, with a smug smile at her wife. "That's laundry and lunches for the rest of this week."

"Oh, no. You only win if it's Shepherd." Arizona comes back.

"What? Derek isn't possessed. He's just naturally egotistical. With good reason, he's amazing."

"Yes, yes, we know. You are all gods in your fields." Anya butts in, "You'd think there weren't any other hospitals or surgeons out there. God, I hate Hellmouth towns."

"What are you doing here, anyway? I thought Mark said you couldn't show your face because of that DeHoffman dude?" Callie asks.

"It's D'Hoffryn, and he's distracted. I may have anonymously accused Atё of violating her probation, causing him to launch an official inquiry. They'll be tied up for days. Besides, you should thank me for making time in my busy life to come in here and get in the way of yours._"_

"Wait, Mark?" Meredith questions.

"Right… he was here yesterday, in Mousy's body. He's the one that first noticed the Hubris demon. Apparently, when we had that earthquake last week, it released something from the Hellmouth in the basement…" Callie answers.

"And because he was still here _haunting_ our daughter," Arizona picks ups without missing a beat. "He was able to witness it."

"Exactly," Anya agrees. "I wanted him to possess you," she points to Callie, then continues, looking to Arizona, "but, he said you would strongly object to him being 'inside' of her. Whatever that means."

"You are damned right I would," Arizona agrees. She smiles, "He finally learned, in death, to keep his paws off my woman."

"He says to tell you 'his paws are _not_ touching her right now.'" Anya said.

"What? He's still here? I thought he got on the elevator?" Callie asks. "He made a big deal about it, we cried and stuff."

"Turns out, the doors open both ways." Anya answered. "_If_ you have a connection both places. He's still torn, between both planes."

"So he's like, just standing here?" Cristina asks. "Are there other dead people hanging about."

"Mark says 'sometimes for fun, he haunts Karev with Denny' but to answer your question, there are no other ghosts here right now, except him." Anya points to an empty chair next to Cristina, which causes her to get up and move to the other side of the room.

"No offense, Sloan." Cristina said.

"What about Lexie?" Meredith asked.

Suddenly Arizona's body shakes a bit, spins around a couple times, and then she straightened up and said. "She's happy there Meredith, she won't come back, it's painful. Being here. It hurts to see… life. Life go on without you. She said to tell you she loves you, though."

Meredith just nods her head, and starts "Tell her… I miss…"

Arizona's body starts shaking again, this time more violently, she looks as though she is retching, "Oh, my god. Get out." Her whole body shudders, "He was in me. Gross. Mark Sloan, was in me. That was the most disturbing thing that has ever happened to me… and some pretty awful crap has happened to me lately."

"It's the only way he can communicate. Actually, it's kind of amazing that you were aware of it enough to eject him." Anya said. "He's really sorry. He said, you won't let him near Callie, he's afraid of Yang, and he needed to talk to Meredith, so you were his only choice."

"No, no… actually, it's ok." Arizona replied. "Um, it's ok, Mark. I understand."

Arizona pulls Callie aside, as Anya shows Meredith and Cristina, Hubris on the Demon Buster app.

"Hey, can we talk later?" Arizona asked.

"Of course! What's up, did Mark do something more inappropriate than possess you?"

Arizona shudders again, "No, it's… fine. But…"

"So… What now?" Meredith interrupts Arizona mid thought.

"Later," she whispers to Callie, and then turns their attention back to the group.

"You start ruling other people out," Anya replies. "Then, make your guilty party eat the pie."

"Oh, why didn't you tell me there was food involved?"

"It's humble pie, Yang. You think you can handle eating a little humble pie?"

"Maybe," Cristina said. "What's it made of?"

"Various organ meats, some cinnamon, and… our humility." Arizona replied, pointing between her and Callie.

"Ew, never mind, lets save it for the victim." Cristina, shutters. "I don't want a pie filled with your lesbian drama."

* * *

"So, Grey," Callie said. "Get your husband in here, we have some pie for him to eat."

"It's not Derek, I'm sure," Meredith insists. "Trust me on this one."

"I don't know Mere, he can be pretty into himself," Cristina said. "I mean, how much time did he spend on his hair this morning?"

"I promised him I wouldn't show anyone this, but…" Meredith pulls out her phone and shows everyone a picture of Derek, from this morning, in a tutu, princess crown, and a face full of bright pink make-up, having tea with Zola. "Would someone possessed with Hubris do this?"

"Yeah, I think he's in the clear" Anya declares.

"In your face, Callie," Arizona exclaims. "Neither of us won."

While Arizona gloats, and everyone's attention is on her and Callie, Cristina discreetly takes the phone from Meredith, and quietly texts herself the picture of Derek.

"You all should split up, go about your day like normal. Use some finesse, have patience, subtly interrogate. Not that thing you were doing earlier." Anya said, pointing accusingly at Callie.

"I was being 'bad cop'!" Callie shouts, defending herself.

"More like 'bad-at-her-job cop'," Cristina chuckles, agreeing with Anya.

Anya beams at Cristina, "I like you. You bring much needed sarcasm."

"That's what I've been saying for years."

"All right, Yang, enough bonding with the _vengeance demon_," Arizona said. "We should probably get out there, right? Start sleuthing? Get on with our day?" she asks, looking around. "Meredith you go talk Bailey and Webber, I'll take Karev. Callie and Cristina… Mm, how about Avery and anyone else we may be forgetting?"

"What about Owen?" Callie asks Cristina.

"My gut is telling me it's not him. He hasn't really had any confidence since the plane crash. But we'll get to him."

As they all start to file out of the attending's lounge, Anya stops them, "Remember, a Hubris demon isn't outwardly dangerous, unless cornered. I'll be at the coffee cart, if you need me, but try to handle this yourselves…" She sighs, "That new barista is horrendous with my money."

"Wait," Arizona tentatively said. "I have a question about the coffee cart… It's not evil now, is it? A scone is not going to kill us, or send us to an alternate universe or anything, right?"

"No, it's just my cover. It wouldn't be very a discreet cover if it caused evil stuff to happen, now would it?" Anya replies. "That pharmacy over on 5th, however? Stay clear of that place."

Callie is the last one out, she shuts off the light, closing the door behind them.

"They forgot about me," Mark's ghost said to the empty room. He scoffs, as he walks through the wall, "The living."

* * *

Arizona heads off toward peds, and Meredith departs to find Webber and Bailey, leaving Cristina and Callie idly walking down the hall.

"You pretty sure it's not Owen?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, I don't think so. He's been kind of down lately. He's having a hard time with me trying to find him a new wife."

"So, you guys are over for good this time? No take backs?"

"Well, he wants a rugrat and I don't," Cristina replies. "It's that simple. There is no compromise, you know?"

"Maybe you'll change your mind?" Callie said. "Or he will. Arizona and I worked that out."

"Yeah. You 'worked that out.' Right," Cristina taunts.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Callie questions.

"It means, Arizona didn't really have a choice, did she? If she wanted you, she had to take your Sloan Spawn." Cristina shrugs.

"What? Arizona agreed to have kids. And she _loves_ Sofia."

"And I'm not saying she doesn't love Sofia. Sofia is a perfectly fine ankle biter. I'm just saying, you never had to test that theory. She was all 'of course I'll have your babies' when it was some future possible event, which you may or may not decide to do, but, you got knocked-up, effectively taking away her choice."

"That's not… that's not true." Callie denies, but her brows furrow in thought.

"It's not Richard." Meredith walks up and interrupts. "Definitely, not Richard," she winces.

"How do you know?" Cristina asked.

"I just walked in on him with Dr. Avery in an on-call room, and let's just say… he was in an awfully _submissive_ position." Meredith shudders, "Cristina, I need you to gouge my eyes out."

"Oh my god! Richard and Jackson?" Callie exclaims.

"Oh. Lord no. _Catherine_ Avery… Richard and Catherine Avery, not Jackson." Meredith squints, and sighs, "And now I need brain bleach too. Thanks for _that_ image, Callie."

"What are we talking about?" Jackson walks up and asks.

"Your mom." Cristina replies. "And Richard… doing it, in an on call room."

"_Way to go_, Richard. She is _hot_ for and older lady." Jackson smiles.

"Ummm… ew. What is _wrong_ with you, Jackson?" Callie asks.

"Oh, sorry! It's me… Mark." Jackson's body answers. "Jackson, is not possessed. Well, except by me. I found him crying in the men's room. I think his mom yelled at him earlier. By the way, you guys just left me back there. It hurt my phantom feelings."

"Suck it up, Mark." Callie punches Jackson in the chest. She then said, "We are quickly running out of suspects…. Who's left?"

"Alex, Bailey, and… I can't think of anyone else…"

"Wait, Arizona is alone with Alex…" Callie said with a hint of fear. "Mark… Jackson… Mark, whoever you are. You're with me." And she took off toward the elevators, Jackson trailing behind, leaving Meredith and Cristina together.

"We should find Bailey." Meredith finally said.

"Or… we could get lunch." Cristina replies. "It's probably Evil Spawn anyway."

Meredith agrees and they head off toward the cafeteria.

* * *

Callie rushes off the elevator, down the hall, and through the double doors to the pediatric ward, her heart practically beating out of her chest. She runs to the nurses' station and bangs her hands down on the counter to get the attention of the nurses.

"Where is Dr. Robbins?" she demands, as soon as they look up.

"She went looking for Dr. Karev, toward the patient rooms in the north hall, I believe." The nurse replies. "But that was a little while ago…" she yells after Callie and Jackson's retreating forms.

Callie frantically makes her way down the hall, finally finding her wife leaning against the doorframe to the playroom, giant smile on her face.

"Arizona!" Callie gasps, out of breath. "Are you ok?"

"Of course," Arizona looks over, brow furrowing. "Why wouldn't I be? Jackson." She nods hello.

"Because…" Callie responds, still breathing heavy. "Because, Alex is the one possessed with Hubris. Wow… I'm out of shape."

"You are not out of shape, you are perfect," Arizona replies. "And it's not Alex… Look. He's tweaking," She points into the playroom where Alex and intern Jo are dancing for the kids. "I don't think someone possessed with Hubris, would be tweaking for sick kids."

"How many times do I have to tell you it's 'twerking', Arizona? But, you are right," She points toward Alex, "that's embarrassing."

Arizona leans in and asks Callie in a whisper, "How did you rule out Jackson?"

"Oh, that's Mark… He found Jackson weeping in the men's room. So, not him."

"So… if it's not Alex or Jackson…" Arizona said.

"And Meredith ruled out Webber… don't ask. Please." Callie added with a grimace.

"That just leaves… Bailey." Mark deduced.

"Bailey." Callie said.

"Yep. Bailey." Arizona agrees.

* * *

Meredith and Cristina are casually wandering down the hall in the direction of the cafeteria, pondering everything they learned today.

"Can you believe all this?" Cristina asks.

"Actually, I can." Meredith replies. "You were right, when you left for Minnesota. It _is_ this hospital. This place is jinxed. It actually sits on a _mouth to hell_, that's not normal."

"I'm always right, Meredith. You should know that by now." Cristina waves her hand to dismiss Meredith's concerns. "Besides, normal is over-rated."

"Cristina?" Meredith stops walking, and points down the hall toward the vending area, where April Kepner is frantically eating a bunch of snacks from the machines.

"Hey Virgin Mary?" Cristina yells. "What are you doing?"

"Fueling this body, so I can get back into surgery. I have a really complicated pancreaticoduodenectomy in half an hour, and I'm hungry." April replies.

"Wait… _You_ are doing a Whipple?"

"Oh, yeah. Uh… Dr. Webber gave it to me. Said he was, um, busy. So… I'm going to… go." April replies as she starts to walk off, her arms full of food.

"Shouldn't we, I don't know, ask her something? She could be the one possessed."

"Kepner? No way."

"You never know, Cristina." Meredith said with a shrug.

"Ok, if you insist," Cristian gives in. "Hey, Kepner? Are you planning on killing a bunch of people with your overconfidence?

April turns around slowly and looks at them, a twizzler hanging from her mouth.

Cristina smiles, "Oh, it's for the hospital brochure."

April looks at them, they look at her, both of them frozen for a brief moment. April drops all of her snacks, bolts down the hall, and around the corner.

Meredith and Cristina look at each other, their eyes widening with surprise.

They take off down the hall, hot on the trail of a hubris filled April Kepner.

* * *

Callie, Arizona, and Mark, in Jackson's body, are standing outside of Bailey's genome lab, watching her work through the window. Arizona is holding the humble pie they stopped and grabbed from the attending's lounge, as they were sure it was Bailey that was possessed.

"You go first."

"No way, you go first."

"You are both sissies. _I'll_ go first."

"You are already dead. You aren't risking anything." Callie rebukes Mark, offended by his bravado.

"He's risking _Jackson_, Callie." Arizona, scolds Callie.

"Oh yeah, sorry Jackson." Callie pats him on the shoulder.

As the three of them stand there arguing, Bailey looks up from her computer and notices them through the window.

"What the…?" Bailey mutters, getting up and walking toward the door.

She opens the door and stands there watching them argue back and forth until they all stop, noticing her at the same time.

"Dr. Bailey." Arizona said, putting on her best dimpled smile.

"Dr. Robbins, Dr. Torres, Dr. Avery, can I help you with something?" Bailey questions.

"We… were… wondering," Callie swallows nervously. "We were, um, wondering if you were hungry. It's almost lunchtime." She points to the pie in Arizona's hands. "We made this for you."

"I am kind of hungry" Bailey agrees and starts to take the pie from Arizona. "Thank you, this looks good."

Callie and Jackson stand there nervously fidgeting, watching every move Bailey makes. When, out of nowhere, April Kepner comes running down the hall and right passed them, almost knocking Arizona off balance.

"What the hell?" Bailey asks.

Before anyone could form an answer, Meredith and Cristina come running down the hallway after Kepner. Both are yelling. "It's her, it's her."

"April's the one, grab her."

Callie and Jackson take off after April, who is being chased by Meredith and Cristina, leaving a stunned Bailey and Arizona behind.

Arizona clears her throat, smiles at Bailey, and takes the pie back, "Sorry, I'm going to need that." After a pause, she adds, "Board business." Then goes off in the direction of the others.

"Dammit. I was going to eat that." Bailey said. She shakes her head and goes back into her lab.

* * *

"Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Where could they have gone?" Arizona ponders aloud and she moves down the corridor in the direction the others fled.

"Stairwell, headed toward the basement." Anya replied, as she popped in next to Arizona, who almost dropped the pie in shock. "Sorry. I forget that you people aren't used to teleportation."

"Well, here, you take them the pie… I'm too slow. I can't run with this leg. And the steps…" Arizona tries to give the pie to Anya.

"Nope. This is on you, I've been too much of an active participant already. _You_ can do this," Anya encourages. "You may not be as fast as the others, but they didn't even remember to _bring_ the pie. Everyone's role is different, doesn't mean you aren't needed."

Arizona gives Anya grateful smile, and heads off toward the elevator.

* * *

Hubris runs. He runs for his very existence. He runs as fast as this body will take him. Bounding down the stairs, taking them two at a time. The pathetic humans hot on his heels. They'll never catch him in time, though. He'll make it to the Hellmouth, and fling this ginger bag of bones right into the gaping hole. He finally reaches the bottom of the stairwell, he burst through the doors to the basement, and right into the fist of a waiting Arizona Robbins. He drops to the floor unconscious.

"Ow, ow, ow… oh that hurts," Arizona shakes her hand. Cristina and Meredith are the next to come through the door, out of breath and bent over.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Meredith manages over heaving breaths.

"I punched her, right in the face." Arizona responds as Jackson, then Callie come through the door, also out of breath.

"Arizona! You did it!" Callie exclaims, taking the grinning Arizona in her arms.

"I did, didn't I?" Arizona said. "But, I think I broke my hand."

Callie takes Arizona's hand and gently kisses it. "I'll make it all better. I prom… I mean. I'll get you some x-rays and we'll see what's going on with it." Callie said, with a wink.

Arizona smiles at Callie, understanding her hesitance, and happy they can make a little light, about Callie's broken promise.

April starts groaning and moving, finally coming to from Arizona's decisive punch.

"The pie is over there, Yang, why don't feed some to April before she's fully aware."

"Yeah, let's finish this" Mark says. "Jackson's body really has to pee and I don't want to be here for that."

After they had forced Kepner to eat the humble pie, she passed out again. They left her sleeping it off in an on-call room, Cristina promising to check-in on her later. Mark once again said his goodbyes and left Jackson asleep in the same on call room as Kepner. Just because he was a ghost, didn't mean he couldn't meddle.

Anya appeared and congratulated them all on their first successful demon hunt, then begged-off, saying she had some business with a wish in Chehalis, and was gone in a flash.

* * *

Later that night, back at apt. 502, Arizona once again sits on the couch waiting for her wife to get their daughter to bed. This time, she has an ice pack on her hand- the films were negative for fractures, but Callie wanted her to ice it for pain and swelling anyway.

Callie finishes up with Sofia and comes to join her on the couch.

"So, today was…" Arizona starts.

"Amazing. You, were the hero today. You saved April and countless others with that Marine daddy punch of yours. It was really hot." Callie grins, lifting an eyebrow, then leaning in for a kiss.

Arizona puts her uninjured hand up to stop her, and blurts. "I want to adopt Sofia. Officially."

At Callie's surprised look, she stutters on, "And, and I know she's my baby. And you know she's my baby, but Mark is gone now, and I've been thinking I needed to respect his memory, and honestly I wasn't sure what you were thinking… but, but… when he was inside me… he knows… he doesn't see me as any different… because I'm not, I'm her momma and I want it to be legal, once and for all."

Callie still sits there stunned, so Arizona continues, "Also, we are changing her name, her last name. To Robbins-Torres, because we are going to have a legal wedding ceremony and we are taking each other's last names. We are _all_ going to be Team Robbins-Torres. No arguments." She finally concludes with a nervous expectant look on her face.

The smile that breaks out on Callie's face is all the answer she needs. She once again jumps into her wife's arms and buries her head in her hair. Callie pulls back and kisses her passionately, then looks into her eyes, "I'll call our lawyer first thing…"

"Now," Arizona interrupts. "Call her now."

Callie picks up her phone and replies, "Done."

The End.


End file.
